Clutch-ed

Darlings, 

While I am a massive fan (as in enthusiasm, not girth *harrr harrrr*) of a clutch bag, I must admit that the occassions to sport one have been few and far between lately. Bah, humbug!

However, as Jessica Alba, so elegantly proves - a good clutch goes a long way in adding a touch of glam to any ensemble!

From day to night, this versitile little Saint Laurent clutch is certainly put through it's paces...

But at a hefty $500-$750; I don't think it quite fits in with my "no-shopping-August" goal!!! 

"But it's black and white leopard print! Buuyyyyyy itttt!" screams the little shop-a-holic part of me (she is little... tiny infact. Spends all her money on clothes. Fortunately, she competes for a share of the budget with a more hedonistic part on myself who is addicted to lovely meals, rare steak, chucklit and copious amounts of vino!)

*sigh* 

What I've been reading this month...

After finished reading Oh Dear Silvia and then The Irresistible Inheritance of Wilberforce - I am in dire need of cheering up! 

While they made me very introspective, I would highly recommend them to those in need of a new book. I won't spoil the fun out of reading the "blurb" at the back of the book for you, and there are much more comprehensive reviews out there if you need one. All I will say is; as I got to know the title character in each book, I didn't like them very much, and by the end, I felt overwhelmingly empathy for them. Which makes one ponder one's own life as a book. Hmmm... 

Perhaps the rolliking adventure of The Cuckoo's Calling is just what the doctor ordered?
That and a large glass of wine obvs.

Cool hunting comedy...

I found myself on the Southbank this weekend, and received an impromptu invitation to see Al Murray's show The Pub Landlords's Southbank Saloon at the Wonderground festival... As you do!

I like Al Murray. I "get" it... The satire of his on stage charater is hilarious. His guests at the Southbank Saloon this past Saturday night, however, were not to my taste. Well, that is apart from the £3-budget-"Thriller"-chaps; they were marvellous! I was enthralled and laughed uproariously to show my appreciation.

Back to the others though. A quote that sums up the other "comedians" that night for me: "smuggling out bigotry under a veil of irony". 

Their names escape me - I wish I had taken note so that I could avoid them in future. For the purpose of this comment, I’ll call them “Skinny Irish Guy” and “Bald Chap with Blingy Belt”, perhaps even abbreviated to SIG and BCBB respectively.

SIG was juvenile. I think the only people who would appreciate such overuse of the f-word are adolescents who are still getting to grips with words they don’t hear on C Beebies. If he’d popped a few funny jokes in between the *&^%'s and £$&*!'s - it would have been better. But alas no. Even his Irish accent failed to charm me. Toward the end, he threw out a few amusements, but it was generally not a performance worth repeating.

Al Murray cheered us up after the half time break but at this stage I’d regretted my gloating Facebook status that I was going to see this show. “Careful what you wish for” as the saying goes...

BCBB started with a good crack about “Tin-Tin” that I could imagine working out well but things took a bit of a nasty turn when a couple, who chose to leave after a controversial comment, were verbally abused by this bald badass. He had a proper rant at them, and I felt that the rest audience, giggling with embarrassed/shocked laughter, stayed out of politeness. Perhaps trying not to appear like middle-class-types-who-get-offended-on-behalf-of-others? Who knows.

I’m glad I left midway through his act. I would caution against his belief that his comedy is “art” and it is his artistic privilege to berate an audience in the manner he did. 

Well, that’s him told anyway. 

So - it's one star for Al and one for the old chaps. The other two can try harder next time.

Emerald - pantone colour of 2013!

I was really excited at the news that emerald was the pantone colour of 2013... Although, I wish it had been the shade of 2011, when I was rocking my emerald, handknitted snood. I'm either ahead or behind.... 

 

Print trousers...

Wish my luck folks... This weekend (or, realistically, when the weather improves a little) - I intend to embark on the printed trousers trend... I got these on sale from Long Tall Sally for £15 (you can't even get a good bottle of vino for that in London town!)

 
And with the contents of my wardrobe, I hope to look super-cool, like this:

 Excited. 
x

A fool for Valentines cool...

Chaps, 

It's that time of year again, where lingerie companies are bringing out the garish red knickers in the hope that it will boost sales, as the romantic in us wants to impress our loved ones with gestures gleened from watching too many American sitcoms. 

BUT
 
Don't be fooled by those who say "it's just another day. Doesn't matter to me..." They are liars... (For those of you who are now thinking "I am not a liar", you really need to examine this fervent denial...)

Doing something on Feb the 14th, is important; simply, so that you have an answer when people ask "What are you doing for Valentines' day?" or "What did you do for Valentines' day".... the nosy bastards.

Don't feel disheartened, it is also the time of year, when you non-single folk get to bask in one of the main benefits of being in a relationship; mainly, having someone to do sh*t with while us singletons scramble around trying desperately to find someone to go to a pub with us. 

Valentines day is like the reward to you relationshippers for enduring all the family-related duties of the festive season. It's like a bonus after a hard year of work. 

So, make an effort. Lord it over us singlesies. I don't want to hear any of this "it doesn't really matter, as every day is V-day to us" bullsh*t. I want gloating facebook posts about thoughtful dinners, masses of flowers and in 9 months time, I want you to name your child February or something, in honour of the blessed day of conception. 

For those of you at a loss for ideas, here are a couple I gained from the internet:
1. Re-enact your first date
2. Rent a hotel room and pretend you're tourists
3. Go for a burger with your ex while your partner is away on business <-- I threw that in there to see if you're paying attention. Don't do this. This is a rubbish idea...
4. Make him/her a home made card (sounds budget, but they'll love the effort - esp chicks)

Or, one for the boys, do what any man who hopes to win my heart would do - buy pretty, sparkly things...

As for me... I will probably retire early to bed with a good book and some chucklit. I am just rock'n'roll like that... 

But fear not, ladies and gentlemen, I am sure I will be part of the gloating masses soon. There is a lid for every pot*

*oooooh another idea. Send them a pot lid. And a note saying something to the effect of my above statement... "You're my lid, mofo" or summink like that... sigh... and they say romance is dead!

xx

Good leopard. Bad Leopard.

I love leopard print. I may be getting to a certain age where it's become acceptable to wear it... which is a bonus.
BUT. There are acceptable ways and, let's be totally frank, f*cking unacceptable ways of wearing the trend! <-- I hardly swear... but this is a subject I am clearly passionate about...

Acceptable: I like certain designs of pencil skirts, even dresses, but the safest option is a scarf or small-ish bag - like a clutch. 

BUT...
There is combinations of leopard print that just offend the eye. And these trousers are guilty, guilty, guilty!!

Unacceptable:

 

Rope necklaces

I am officially obsessed. I. Must. Have. One (or two or three!)

May even try my hand at making one!! Hmmmm (contemplates where to get all the sh*t you'd need to do it yourself....)

Cinema cool

There are certain films that come along, that one feels compelled to watch on "the big screen" and not on DVD (or, lets be honest, some dodgy, shakey-cam download).

"Life of Pi" is one of them for me. Cannot wait to watch it! I had a little chuckle though, when I read this review:

Very Disappointing

Reviewer: Important Info

Date: 03/01/2013

Went to see this with my family and we were looking forward to it. We were very disappointed and i wouldn't recommend this to families. Some things that are in the film shouldn't be shown as it could disturb people so why you would show a child, I wouldn't want to describe why animals were shown getting killed. Overall there wasn't much good about it and the story line wasn't very good either. I WOULDN'T recommend this at all. Very disappointing. I would have chosen no stars.

WTF!!! Were they expecting Disney? Where the Hyena and Orangutan do a duet? Everyone living happily after? Obvs this person has never heard of metaphor and/or has been living under a rock...
*sigh* I hope that they wear a sign, so that others are forewarned...  

Coolness in cold climates?

For avid followers of this blog, it would appear that nothing cool was worth hunting in a cold climate since June 2012. Or perhaps that the climate warmed slightly, making the title of the blog erroneous... This, however, is not true. The climate is still cold, and there are still cool things worth hunting (and blogging about) - but the author was otherwise engaged in her reappearance on another social media site. How annoying...

A summary of some of the cool things that one would have written about during the less cold moments in said cold climate...:
1. Southbank in Summertime... loved the old school fairground feel of the Wonderground (complete with freakshow acts like the Lizard Man, scary rides, striped deck chairs, Tons of Pimms (jugs of) and hotdogs...) and the rooftop gardens...

2. Oh, another highlight was the little event called the Olympics... One was lucky enough to go and sit in the rain in a plastic poncho and watch beach volleyball. Mah-velous... Turns out it's not only scantily clad ladies who compete!!!

 And the cheerleaders really... uhm. Well. What can I say... They were cheerful!

  
One interesting innovation that stood out for me at the Olympics was that foncy new sports tape... supposed to help with injuries. But looks really pretty too! And comes in multiple colours!!! I loves it.

 

 3. Proms in the park - Fantastic annual concert in the park, featuring well known artists (like Kylie, whoop whoop!) singing with an orchestra! Kinda like Kirstenbosch except not... (as summer is only a week long here, it's cramped into a shorter time frame)
Note: Proms can even be enjoyed after a power-drinking session, seated on glaring strangers' blankets, while quaffing wine out of a plastic bottle (or *cough* multiple bottles)...

*sigh* And that only covers up until September!!! 

Rather than task her memory too much, this blogger shall resume regular posts, as far too much sh*t happens for her wine addled memory to summarise in this fashion. 

 ta for now.. 
x

Blog stats

Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha....

Someone looking for a cool short guy is obvs misguided, but check out #3 search keywords that led to my blog. 

Ah-sum. 

x

Pineberries

I cannot contain my excitement - how good does this look?

I read an article that for this year's Wimbledon, Moet are serving pineberries with their bubbles. I. Must. Have. Some!

xx

It's all in a name...

With the internet being our sole source of information nowadays - things can get quite tricky in terms of the accuracy of that information.
My failure to join social networking sites such as facebook and twitter has clearly left the door wide open to imposters...

Like this twitter user, who has used my name. 

Now - people who barely know me, can google my name, and assume that I don't know how to spell "school"...


I vote we all get barcodes from now on - names are so 90's ;-)

Concert time - baby!

I had the best time EVER* this past Friday!! Shaunie had an extra ticket to Coldplay and kindly, graciously, magnanimously, (and need we say selflessly) invited me!!!!!!! MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I am truly the luckiest girl in the world. 

My luck seemed to compound when I discovered that Ash were one of the opening acts. I love them. And that shows my age. But I still love them. From the song that introduced me to them (16 or 17 - jamming to "Oh Yeah!", you know the song... trust me. Poor Shaunie had to listen to me trying to sing him into rememberance, but thank goodness I am too lazy to post sound bites so you can just googles it...) 

One of their more recent ones that I like is "Arcadia" (I googled this one for you: http://youtu.be/h77ZDOE8G-Q). Ooooh ooh, and the bassist has that really cool 90's "I don't care" look about him... HOT on stage! *sighs* 

But I am ashamed to admit - at some point, I did think "they're too old to be playing this pop-sounding stuff". I'm just mean that way...  which may be one of the contributing factors to my current ZUPER single/unwed status (that and the possibility that I am "sexually repellant" as was debated during Friday's concert festivities)


Who isn't sexually repellant, one may ask? Well, one example is Marina - from Marina and the Diamonds. Marvelous looking creature, who looked amazing in her 1950's-style-Alice-in-Wonderland-at-a-glance-until-you-see-the-huge-boobs dress!

 

And what will annoy one about a girl like her, is not only is she physically blessed, but she also has a lovely voice. A bit "sing-ey" but I quite liked some of her songs (okay. 2 of them... or one maybe this one? http://youtu.be/Gj5L9SYhoSE or this one? http://youtu.be/o3Rp_0hoNTY). Bear in mind by this stage, I was already two pints into proceedings (that's pints of beer, chaps. Definitely nothing vintage or grape fermented could be found at the Emirates stadium. Not even Methode Cap Classique...) 


And after Marina, it was beer queue time (once again, I am not proud, but a girl gets thirsty...) and then it was - COLDPLAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


It was the best live act I have seen in a while. And not just because of the lovely multicoloured, multishaped confetti...
 

 

Or the pink wrist band I wore that lit up and flashed along with the music - that made me feel part of the show...

 

But rather, listening and singing along to a legacy of songs that have been a part of the soundtrack to the last 10 or so years of my life... From the groundbreaking "Yellow" and all the way to "Paradise" (which still brings a tear to my eye...), Coldplay have been there. I am one of the thousands of girls/boys who insists that "Green Eyes" was written for them, and who sings loudly to the chorus of "Violet Hill" when going through one of those relationships... 

Shaunie defo gets promoted to best-friend-forever status (poor chap, you give a girl a free ticket and that's how she repays you?? Where is the bottle of single malt, one asks? tttshuh!)

Lots of love and kisses, 

xx <--even though only two are shown here, they are in fact real text kisses. Not the kind that you get when someone you have just met sends you a text. Or a work related email. Those "x"s annoy me a great deal.

*EVER while at the Emirates Stadium listening to Coldplay  

...it was heaven!

Well - the goal of owning an owl pendant has been acheived! Result! And of all places, I got it in duty free at Catania airport after visiting here - Taormina in Sicily!!!

It was truly paradise! My bestie Nicole-Pole married Davey Bear in the most gorgeous of settings...

If she had tossed the bouquet a little further, it would be in the ocean right now floating to all the singlejies in Cape Town... heh heh
A good time was had by all, and a new phrase was coined due to my ability to lead even the most innocent astray. Apparently, after you go out with Amanda Panda, you get Panda'd (eg: v.v.v drunk!) 
Below - bride and Panda, doing the Panda pose!

Oh dear.. I wish I could go back already!
xx

New Project Alert

Oh dear... I saw this online and now I HAVE to make one! I love owls at the moment... 

Esp want to find a nice owl pendant or earrings - 

 Its a need more than a want really...

Wine and dine

Added to the list of Restaurants People Can Buy Me Dinner At is Inamo

http://www.inamo-restaurant.com/pc/

Basically, why I think it sounds so cool is...
"At the core of Inamo is our interactive ordering system. Diners place orders from an illustrated food and drinks menu projected on to their table surface. You'll set the mood, discover the local neighbourhood, and even order a taxi home"

Any takers?
x

Spring has sprung!

Yes - it's true! Spring has finally arrived. We are setting the clocks for BST (British Summer Time) this Sunday, there are daffodils everywhere and Pimms have started their marketing season - so it must be spring, right?
Loving the GIANT deckchair they commissioned for Bournemouth beach. Very clever way to get exposure in a below-the-line way...

The charms of music

Music hath charms to soothe a savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak." William Congreve

Two of the songs that are on the soundtrack of this weekend are -

Gotye and "Somebody as I Used to Know"

http://youtu.be/8UVNT4wvIGY

It's appealing to my prevailing morbidity...
AND
My bestie got married this weekend - and now the next song will forever remind me of her exchange of vows in Bournemouth (I am sadly missing the wedding in Thailand!)
http://youtu.be/c__noWWtdZg

A resounding cover by James Vincent McMorrow of a Steve Winwood song "Higher Love". It brought tears to my eyes during the ceremony. 
Congratulations again, Mr and Mrs Kirby. 
Perhaps love does win out in the end, eh?
xx
P.S. There is no ONE song that describes the other events during the weekend. How do you sum up a drag queen hating your taste in shooters, with a mere song? Will give it some thought. Good times, ya'll...

Gifts from Venice

a.k.a My-friend-went-to-Venice-and-all-I-got-was-this-lousy-pasta
I dream of visiting Venice one day... A romantic trip down a canal (preferably in colder weather so there is less of a "natural" aroma accompanying my watery journey), some shopping and perhaps even an impromptu Venetian masked ball thrown in. Ahhhhh, a girl can dream. 
Speaking of dreams - mine were pleasantly shattered recently. The most-gorgeous-mechanic went to Venice with her Fiance for a weekend, and promised me a gift upon her return. My mind immediately shifted to anything Murano (well, not anything - I am obsessed with Murano rings. What would I do with a freakin' vase anyway?)

My imagination certainly got the better of me, and it took every ounce of grace for me to cheerfully accept the "actual" gift that was...

Penis shaped pasta! The packaging it came in was less obvious than the image in this posting (the Venetian pasta seller claimed that it was "traditional pasta, not sexy" but still. It was distinctly phallic. The exact shape in the picture above...)
Well, it turned out to be the best gift ever* as it made for a lovely lunch with basil pesto, grilled artichokes and a bottle of yummy Pinot Noir that we shared while watching Young Adult (cringe-cringe-cringe; an "is that me in 5 years time?" kinda movie) and the Descendants (cringe - is that really how one would react to the fatal accident of one's mother?? Oscar? Schmosker!!).

So, if any of you lovelies go to Venice in the future, please note that while I am most appreciative of any gifts (esp. carbs), I yearn for something MURANO in future. M-U-R-A-N-O. 
If one doesn't ask, one doesn't get. Innit. 
x


*during the weekend of the 2nd March 2012